Thursday, August 4, 2011

No Regrets? Time To Get Out More!

It's been another one of those weeks.  A million and one things to do and never enough time or energy to get them all done.  On my current to do list is work (never goes away), potty train Tommy, get organized for the Buddy Walk, plan and get ready for Joey's 1st birthday party and then there are the other pesky things that are forever on everyone's to do list.  Laundry, bills, meals (sadly, the meal train was too good to last forever, but it was amazing while it did last!!!) and the rest of life's daily drudge.

Miss Amanda delivering a meal--one of Joey's All Stars biggest fundraisers!!!
In the midst of the madness I received a phone call on my work line from a former client.  That is a former, defense client from about 12 years ago when I was a JAG Lieutenant in the Navy.  Not a call you really ever want to get.  That was the tough thing about being a defense attorney.  Usually you were glad to say goodbye to your client because while they might not have been guilty of exactly what they were charged with, they were usually guilty of something.  That being said, I zealously and passionately represented each and every one of my clients despite my personal views.  The scary part was, how did he get my work number?  How did he find me now that I am married and have a different name.  It was a weird call.  Apparently he has been studying the law (awesome).  I recognized his name, but I could not for the life of me figure out what he had been charged with, so I asked him.  "Unlawful carnal knowing" was his response.  It was actually unlawful carnal knowledge, but I wasn't going to pick him apart as I was trying to get off the call as quickly as possible.  Then it all hit me-- he was charged with statutory rape of a 13-year-old girl.  He was 18 at the time.  Statutory rape is statutory rape.  It requires no intent-- just the very act of having sex with a minor.  I also seemed to recall that there was a confession involved.  He said that yes, he had signed a sworn statement confessing to NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigative Services), but that he wanted to appeal his guilty plea because he was not read his Miranda Rights.  At this point, I remembered this particular client all too well and could tell that he had not lost his power of persuasion.  

Looking to wrap up this particular conversation I asked him what I could help him with.  He said, "Will you sign an affidavit for me?"  I said that it would depend on what that was for.  He then told me he would like to file an IAC, which in layman's terms is an Ineffective Assistance of Counsel complaint.  I actually laughed out loud and told him that there was no way in the world I would ever sign such a statement because I didn't believe that I had been ineffective in representing him seeing as despite his sworn statement I was able to keep him out of jail.  He was surprised. God bless him.  

That's the kind of week it has been. On to the real fun-- potty training.

I took Tommy to the library (I'm trying not to buy books anymore because, well, someday, my basement is going to be full and on top of that I kind of like keeping my $16.95. Now, if I ever become a published author, I will completely change my attitude and encourage you all to buy lots and lots and lots of books) to get some Potty Training DVDs and to see if there was anything new for me to get lost in at night before bed.

The Potty Training DVDs, books we've read, bribery (gum, money, cars, toys, candy, etc), threats and everything else known to mankind have failed to work thus far.  In fact, when I brought up wearing underwear the other night during dinner, my 2-soon-to-be-3-year-old literally chanted, "Diapers! Diapers! Diapers!"  We've got a live one here folks.  I've decided that since the Buddy Walk, Joey's 1st Birthday Party and an upcoming work trip are all on the horizon we are going to stop talking about going on the potty for a few weeks for my own personal mental health.

In the meantime, when we were checking out these DVDs that really did nothing other than put bad songs into our heads, "Bye, bye pee pee.  Bye, bye pooh." (I wouldn't want to be potty trained either by a strange bear singing about poop and pee) I read the quotation up on the whiteboard.  It was by Dick Goddard (Cleveland's legendary TV meteorologist) and it said, "If you have no regrets, you need to get out more often."  

I am ALL about living fearlessly, living life to the fullest and living without regrets, but, boy, Dick really spoke to me.

In this age of Facebook, Twitter, Blogs and more, there are many times that I thank God that there was not a camera at any of the Jimmy Buffet concerts I attended in my twenties.  I am grateful that there was not a camera that immediately connected to the internet during the Law School/Medical School Halloween parties (hint-- even if you are wearing a mask as "Batgirl" be aware that despite how many Bud Lights you consume, people will actually still know your identity).  But I digress.  I don't really have a lot of regrets, but I do look back at some pictures and cringe a little and think to myself, "Really?  Really?"  At the time it seemed like such a good idea....

It's this weird thing with me and celebrities.  Since I first was seated next to Eddie George on a flight from Miami, FL to Columbus, OH (he autographed my Constitutional Law book!!!) I have had this crazy luck running into famous people and for some even crazier reason I have no problem asking to take their picture.

So, someday, my poor kids will look at this and say, "Really, Mom?  Really?"  I might have a few regrets then.  But that's okay-- it's almost Friday and it's time to have a little fun remembering some of my bolder moments.  This summer has been a hot and stressful one, so sometimes you need to just kick back, take a look back and laugh.

New York, New York Circa 2011
Miss Wendy Williams
Kelsey Grammer outside of La Cage
Regis & Kelly

Annette Bening

Matthew Perry
California Circa 2009

The UNICEF ball, which just happened to be held at the same hotel we were all staying at for work while in LA.

Matt Damon....meeting Jason Bourne....a dream come true!

Jeremy Piven.....not very friendly. At all. 

I think I was starting to get a little too close...

The back of Joan Collins' head.

Cindy Crawford--one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

There might have been a little liquid courage involved as evidenced by Exhibit A in my right hand.

Chef Hubert Keller of Fleur De Lys
Jermaine Jackson.  No joke.

So, no regrets you can think of right now?  Time to get out and have some fun!

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