Oh- some days are just tough. Some weeks are just tough. Tuesday night I was diagnosed with a staph infection. Which is fine--it really is. It hurts and itches like hell, but it's fine. What's not fine is that I cannot let Joey (or Tommy) catch it. UGH!
Then I sat down tonight to fill out some paperwork to try and get in to see a very highly thought of doctor to help us with Joey's overall care. I should have known when the cover letter said that the forms they sent to be filled out would take at least two hours to fill out that it was too much for tonight, but, no. I thought I could at least get a couple of pages filled out. Get a bit of a head start (Is there such a thing anymore? Will I ever actually get "a head" of anything?)
Oh, when I make plans, God really does laugh. I got through 1 page of about 20 total. The first crack came with the following (the form asks you to fill in the blanks):
What do you like about your child?_____________________________________________
Easy, but it hit a bit of a nerve because I wasn't sure where this was going. Here was my response:
What do you like about your child? Everything--especially his smile and his kisses.
This is where I had caved and gave in to what's been a bit of a stressful week:
What is your dream for your child?______________________________________________
It's funny. No one has ever really asked me that about either of my kids. I try to focus on the here and now and to enjoy every day because the days go so fast and they change and grow so fast, but this really forced me to think about it and put it into words and for a few moments (okay- for the rest of tonight and possible the rest of the week) it hurt because what I want for Joey right now is so basic and yet so tough. But we are working every day and I know it will all pay off. Some days are just a little harder than others.
My response-
What is your dream for your child? For him to speak, to walk, to be happy. To someday be able to live independently and do whatever it is he loves.
Something for all of us to think about. What is your dream for your child?
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Well I guess my comment to this post is... Wow, she IS normal and not supernatural!! Finally a little frustration that is oh so natural to feel in stressful times! I love you even more Jen! This call for a night of wine and cheese... Let me know when!
ReplyDeleteMy husband always says "I just want her to be happy". That is true. That is what all parents want when we really get down to it. Yet, I will be honest and may sound horrid. . . I want her to eventually talk. Use words. I get a bit scared when I hear that a 17yo with Ds is nonverbal. I want Ellie to be able to choose from an array of jobs and not just the stereotypical grocery store bagger. If she wants to bag groceries, that is fine, but I want her to have the CHOICE. Still at the end of the day, I want my child to be HEALTHY and HAPPY.
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