Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Some Days Suck - Literally

Today was Joey's repeat swallow study.  His last one was when he was only 2 months old.  It seems like forever ago.  We used to wheeze, cough and eventually projectile vomit after every feeding those first two months of life.  And, despite all efforts and daily visits to a lactation consultant he did not have the energy, coordination or stamina to breastfeed.  When we finally figured out that he was aspirating it was a shock to the system.  Going through bottle after bottle and nipple after nipple to figure out what in the world he would be able to get his now-thickened milk out of was ten days of hell.  Suddenly we were being aware of "protecting his airway" when he eats.






We were put on the Simply Thick Honey level thickener.  There are three levels-- Nectar, Honey and Pudding.  We were put on the Honey thickened level.  In short order we learned that our $200-$300 monthly thickener habit was not covered by insurance.  Their stance was that they do not "cover nutritional supplements".   My argument was that since his thickener is both calorie and nutrient-free, it does not qualify as a "nutritional supplement".  Their response, "We do not cover nutritional supplements".  Our response was that without the thickener, Joey would spend days, weeks, and possibly even months of potential chest x-rays and hospitals stays to cope with aspiration caused pneumonia.  We were denied yet again. 




This new feeding regime also meant that he could not have any liquids or foods that were less thick than the Honey thickener (which is actually thicker than real honey--it's more of a gravy thickness).  This has also meant that he can't have any fruit that squirts liquid (which includes most of the common fruits like apples, oranges, grapes, watermelon, etc.  Bananas and avocados are his main fruits right now).  During a recent trip to Menchie's we figured out that he can't have ice cream because it quickly turns to liquid in his mouth and then he aspirates.  


Once we started the Honey thickener (we use Simply Thick brand) our lives were changed.  Yes, the bottles are way more annoying to prepare and clean, but all of sudden feeding our baby wasn't a nightmare.  He was able to keep his food down.  He stopped having to get chest x-rays.  He stopped wheezing and coughing after every swallow.  It was actually a blessing to have figured this out so soon.  I credit his good eating to the fact that this was caught early and he didn't have months and months of negative eating experiences.  






This month he is 17-months-old and a repeat swallow study was recommended because of how well he is doing eating (he independently eats almost all of his food that doesn't require a spoon-- Nutri-grain bars, crackers, cheese, turkey, Cheerios, toast, waffles, bananas, shredded chicken, potatoes and more).  He also holds his own bottle while he eats, which is really impressive (according to his nutritionist and therapist-- and I believe all compliments about him and hoard them away in my heart!!!!).  






Today I told myself,my husband and my mom that I was not going to get my hopes up for Joey's Swallow Study.  I just wasn't.  Well, I lied.  My hopes were up.  I wanted so badly for Joey to stop having to take thickened liquids.  For him to just be able to drink regular milk and water without that nasty (but super helpful and life-altering) goop in it.  I was a conflicted mess.  Ultimately, Joey doesn't even care.  He eats great.  He is able to swallow great on the thickened feeds.  Bottom line-- he is doing amazing.  But still-- I just wanted to catch a break.  To hit the "easy" button today.


On our way from the parking garage to the hospital we got into an elevator and there in a stroller right by Joey's stroller was an adorable little boy who had the identical winter hat on that Joey wore today.  His mom and I just smiled.  Then I looked closer.  Did this little cutie pie have Down syndrome?  Seriously?  I never want to ask someone if their child has Down syndrome, but we started talking and comparing mom notes.  Indeed, her son does have Down syndrome and he has a twin sister who does not.  Like Joey, this little guy also had open heart surgery.  He was precious.  We walked together across the bridge and talked about army crawling, walking, eating, drinking and getting blood drawn.  It was such kismet to meet this mom and son--it was one of the highlights of the day.


Back to sucking-- basically, we did the swallow study again where they had Joey swallow various barium mixtures thickened to various consistencies out of a variety of bottles and sippy cups.  He immediately "silently" aspirated (which means he didn't cough or choke-- if you or I aspirated--think of water going down the wrong pipe-- we would immediately start coughing and choking) on the nectar thickened and so we are staying with the Honey Thickener.  Is this because of his hypotonia (low tone)?  Possibly.  It is possible that his low tone makes it hard for his body to sense when he is aspirating.  It could also just be a wiring issue in which his brain isn't able to coordinate his sucking/swallowing, yet.  We just don't know.  All we know is that he silently aspirates regular liquid and he comfortably swallows honey thickened liquid.  Nothing new.


So, no progress on the aspirating/sucking front for now.  But that's okay.  Joey's healthy, he's happy and he is eating and drinking.  Not much more we could ask for. 


All the photos today are by the talented and beautiful Nat.

Monday, January 2, 2012

As If I Needed Another Reason To Shop At Target and Introducing Noah

Just found a beautiful blog about Noah-- a little one who also has Down syndrome.  Today, Noah's dad posted about an ad that Target ran in this week's Sunday newspaper that just happens to feature a very handsome young man who has an extra chromosome.  One of Joey's "chromosomal cousins" is what I like to say.  What Noah's dad writes hits my thoughts on "target" (sorry-- I couldn't resist), so I am sharing his posting here.  He is a wonderful writer and advocate for Down syndrome.  Wait until you see the gorgeous photo of Noah at the end-- my heart melts.


If you don't have a child or a family member or even a friend who has special needs or a medical disability, you may wonder why ads like these are such a big deal.  Well, for one, it is a sign of how far we are coming as a society when we embrace all individuals and not just "typical" kids and adults.  It also provides such a sense of belonging.  Isn't that really what we all ultimately want?  To belong.  To fit in.  I spend almost 99% of my time and thought on helping to build awareness and acceptance for differences, but I have to confess, there are times when it is just nice to feel as though we belong.  That our babies and children are included.  That while we celebrate our obvious differences, deep down we know that all humans are different and that is what makes us all so beautiful.  When you go to a birthday party, or a play group, or church-- many times you go and know that your child will be the only one who is noticeably different.  Sometimes I worry about it and sometimes I don't.  The worry comes and go.  Sometimes you just want to fit in.  Is this the right way to feel?  I don't know.  I'm just being totally honest and my point is-- seeing an advertisement for a major retailer that has a child with Down syndrome in it gives me that warm, fuzzy, "we belong" feeling that I have to admit-- I sometimes crave for me and my children.


Enjoy meeting Noah!




target ad down syndrome model kid child
If you were browsing through this week’s Target ad you may have passed right over the adorable little boy in the bright orange shirt smiling at you on page 9!  And if so, I’m glad!
The reason I’m glad?  Well, that stylish young man in the orange shirt is Ryan. Ryan just so happened to have been born with Down syndrome, and I’m glad that Target included a model with down syndrome in their typical ad! :)
This wasn’t a “Special Clothing For Special People” catalog.  There wasn’t a call out somewhere on the page proudly proclaiming that “Target’s proud to feature a model with Down syndrome in this week’s ad!”  And they didn’t even ask him to model a shirt with the phrase, “We Aren’t All Angels” printed  on the front.
In other words, they didn’t make a big deal out of it.  I like that.

5 Things Target Said By Not Saying Anything

down syndrome model target ad boy ad
Even though Target didn’t make a big deal out of the fact they used a boy with Down syndrome as a model in their ad, they said plenty.  They said the same things that Nordstrom did when they used Ryan as a model in their catalog this past summer.  I could list a hundred things Target said by running this ad, let me give you 5 that immediately come to mind:
  1. They said that people born with Down syndrome deserve to be treated the same as every other other person on this planet.
  2. They said that it’s time for organizations to be intentional about seeking creative ways to help promote inclusion, not exclusion.  (It’s no accident that Target used a model with Down syndrome in this ad; it was an intentional and proactive decision.)
  3. They said that companies don’t have to call attention to the fact that they choose to beinclusive in order for people to notice their support for people with disabilities.  In fact, by notmaking a big deal out of it they are doing a better job of showing their support for the special needs community.
  4. They said it’s important for the world to see people born with disabilities with a fresh set of eyes.  That it’s time for us to lay down all the lame stereotypes of the past and move embrace the future with true and accurate ones
  5. They said you don’t have to spend a lot for your kid to dress well! (That shirt is only five bucks!)

The Future Is Bright

baby down syndrome future bright christmas cute
The future is bright for people with disabilities!
One of the reasons I started this site was to give the world an opportunity to see first hand what it’s like raising a child born with Down syndrome.  I had this crazy idea that if I could give the world a window into the world of a special needs family it would help them see that people like my son are much more typical then they may think.  I believe the story we are telling by posting a daily one minutevideo of his life is doing just that.
I’ve never been more excited about the future of individuals born with disabilities.
The possibilities are endless, and the future looks bright!
To Target:
As a father of a son born with a disability I want to sincerely thank you.  I hope that more companies choose to follow the great example that you guys have set.  By choosing to embrace the exciting future and limitless opportunities for people like my son, organizations like yours are leading the way in showing the world that our world isn’t forced to live in the past.
Thank you Target.  By not saying you said a lot.


Sunday, January 1, 2012

A New Year - 2012











One year ago: January 1, 2011.  Joey in hospital for croup.
Last night we danced at 12:00 am.  January 1, 2012.  As Dick Clarke and Ryan Seacrest counted down the dropping of the ball in Times Square we watched and then spontaneously danced to Auld Lang Syne as we celebrated the end of a challenging year-2011 and welcomed in a New Year.  A year of unknowns.  A year not worrying about heart surgery.  A year of celebration and change and growth.  We danced.  In our pajamas and glasses.  Out of our party clothes, my husband and I danced cheek to cheek to celebrate and welcome in 2012.


No resolutions that I can quickly spout off this year.  Many, many good intentions and goals and grand ideas.  We will see how this year's journey goes.  As I have spent the past two years learning-- I am truly not in control of what will happen, and that is okay. 


My inspiration for this year comes from a beautiful bookmark I picked up and that I use in my daily planner to help keep me focused, humble and growing as a human.  I hope you enjoy.


The Litany of Humility - Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930)


O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver Me, Jesus.


From the desire of being loved. . .
From the desire of being extolled. . .
From the desire of being honored. . .
From the desire of being praised. . .
From the desire of being preferred to others. . .
From the desire of being consulted. . .
From the desire of being approved. . .
From the fear of being humiliated. . .
From the fear of being despised. . .
From the fear of suffering rebukes. . .
From the fear of being calumniated. . .
From the fear of being forgotten. . .
From the fear of being ridiculed. . .
From the fear of being wronged. . .
From the fear of being suspected. . .


That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.


That others may be esteemed more than I. . .
That, in the opinion of the world, 
others may increase and I may decrease. . .
That others may be chosen and I set aside. . .
That others may be praised and I unnoticed. . .
That others may be preferred to me in everything. . .
That others may become holier than I,
provided that I may become as holy
as I should. . .